Well, my name is Christopher Sugatan Fornesa, a.k.a. CftxP, an aspiring artist and writer, with interests including political science and the law, and a clear passion for social justice causes.
A few more things about who I am as a person:
I love to dabble in the digital realm and, in reality, I'm obsessed with making websites and, albeit slowly but surely, learning to write code. I currently live in Rosenberg, Texas, located in the Houston Metro Area as a suburb of the city of Houston. I indulge myself in many hobbies, including: reading, writing, making art, thinking, researching (online in particular), observing others (usually from a sociological standpoint), and helping others in any way that I can! I have autism, in paticular, a form of which that used to be considered "Asperger's Syndrome" until changes were made during the creation of the DSM-5. I have autodidactic tendencies, although I have a relatively high level of performance in my academic endeavors as well. I consider myself to be gay, cisgender, and male; although I am supportive of the idea that gender is a spectrum instead of the so-called "binary" that society has come to accept. I created the "CftxP" pseudonym as a teenager, combining my first and last initials, the abbreviation of the state where I was raised and still live (although I was born in California), and one of my favorite childhood animated series: Pokemon. I have come to see my endeavors in art and writing as an extension of myself, with each piece essentially having a mind of its own that's only satisfied as soon as it seems "perfect" in the human sense. I am definitely, positively 100% human, although.... I may have a tendency to hope, even when it all seems to be lost.
After all, that is how I see the world. Albeit, the world is a place full of anger, sorrow, fear, and delusion. It has always been a scary place, in my view, and continues to be one where we seem to be focused on hate and greed rather than love. To me, the world is a place that terribly needs repair, but I'll be damned to call it a lost cause.
In the same way, the world is a place where hope thrives, innovation resides, and as the future comes forth, where changes arrive. When we help each other, guide each other, and realize our social responsibility to take care of one another, that's when we create a stable society in which the well-being of the individual is taken care of and becomes the case as each is seen as part of the whole of society. That's exactly where, despite many setbacks that have occurred over the course of time, society seems to be headed in the long-run. That's not to say that many people, both groups and individuals, haven't been wronged, tortured, and killed for various stupid and idiotic reasons. However, in my opinion, love and forgiveness is a must since only when we learn from mistakes of the past will we change the world for the better! That cannot happen while we hold on to the fear, the guilt, the shame, or the hurt....
As I have mentioned above, I am a gay man with autism. However, I've also been constantly abused throughout the course of my life based on my appearance and the complexities of my mind as well. But as much bitterness as I may have as a person about things that have occurred to me in the past (e.g. the bullying, teasing, indoctrination, and other such forms of abuse), as I grow older, I have become stronger, and wiser, with the realization that some things which did matter then, don't matter in the present. I've also come to learn that I can only grow as a knowledgeable individual when I let go, perceiving the abuse I've endured as reasons to teach others to love each other and making a positive difference instead of holding on to the bitterness that, to be honest, still gets the best of me at times. I can only hope that, for myself and for others who have faced similar challenges, that change will come soon. I also hope that in the meantime, we can learn to accept ourselves and each other, as humans wwho will make mistakes, yet, as individuals who will learn from them and from our past experiences. That is, after all, what being human is all about.
There are several objectives which, if completed, I believe will allow me to reach my full potential in life, including the following:
Learn to code and eventually gain the skills I need to become a web programmer (Why else am I making websites? Okay, it's fun too.) Improve my writing skills to the best of my abilities, maybe conjure up a bestseller? Obtain a BFA in Studio Art or any related field. Obtain at least a Master's degree in Political Science or any related field. Obtain at least a Juris Doctorate. Obtain an MFA in Studio Art or any related field. Obtain a Master's degree in Social Work, Social Design, or both. Obtain an MBA to gain entrepreneurship skills. Work towards finding my calling as an artist by exploring and mastering as many media as possible. Start a non-profit to benefit youth of all disadvantaged backgrounds (income, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc.) to give them hope for the future. Utilize my knowledge in political science and law to start a firm specifying in economic, social, and environmental justice.
Now I know what you're thinking, I'm nuts. Well, I obviously am in over my head with my goals, but like I said, I want to make sure that I am able to fulfill what I believe is my mission in life: simply being who I am. Who I am just happens to have a lot of interests and a scattered career path. I might be crazy but I'm not exactly stupid either. My mind is restless about making sure that I hold on to my dreams and do the best that I can to reach my goals while staying true to who I am as a person!
Besides, I do these things for a reason. In becoming a web programmer, I give myself the ability to learn a skill I also allow myself to use, yet, another platform to aid me in my writing. Becoming the best writer I can be allows me another form of expression in my life, so does progressively working on my art and any related studies. A Master's in Social Work will, in my view, give me the opportunity to help others through gaining knowledge of more effectively doing so while having a business degree gives me the skills of entrepreneurship for the many ideas I already have! I also want to be a lawyer and a political scientist since, let's face it, I am a very ideological person, and that's okay. I want to argue, to debate, and to think more about the challenges that face society! These goals, indeed, will make me a better person as a whole due to the ways in which I can learn more, think more, and use the skills and knowledge I already have and implement them in a manner that aids others, whether it's through the creation of a business or non-profit that directly helps other individuals, offering ideas of how to make government more efficient, relevant, and suited to the general welfare of the people, or simply, creating a piece of artwork or writing a piece of fiction that hopefully brings enjoyment to others! I do it both for the people and my own selfish interests (obviously). Maybe I am an idealist (an extremist one at that) but so what? We need more hope anyway, that's how we gain our freedom as individuals to begin with! Time is of the essence anyway, so if I want to spend my time being hopeful and in study to do what I think it right for myself, then so be it!
In my view, my mission in life is simply to integrate the knowledge, skills, and strengths that I have and will gain to reach my full potential! If I can do this, then I can gain the experience, knowledge, expertise, and even more interest in helping and teaching others how to do the same. Also, this will allow my mind to be freed of any preconceived notions it currently has, opening it up to others' ideas, hopes, and dreams and at least gaining a sense of empathy for them in that manner!
A one-page document featuring my academic and career skills, strengths, and experience.
1993: I was born at Martin Luther Hospital in Anaheim, CA on October 4, 1993 at 9:51 AM PST.
1997: My family moved to the Houston Metro Area in Texas from Albuquerque, NM. I would spend most of my life (as of 2015) in the area.
2001: It was in the first grade when my artwork gained some recognition, at least by my fellow classmates, the first example being my drawing of a duck which some of my "neighbors" were amazed to see. That year, my teacher, Mrs. Timmons, gave me an "Artist" certificate as a part of our "graduation" ceremony. This was momentous for me during my young life, as I felt like I had something to hold on to despite the constant bullying I faced as a child due to my "sensitive" nature.
2005: The onset of puberty made me realize that I had "feelings" for other guys but with the situation I was faced with, moving to a Baptist-affiliated middle school [for the first time feeling accepted by a community of peers and teachers who cared] and parents who didn't support my identity until later on, I would force myself to hide (with lots of pain) my sexuality.
2008: After a few years in private school, financial circumstances forced my parents to move me back to public education. I was accepted to a high school with a magnet program meant to train future healthcare professionals, although I had tried to botch my own entrance, as at the time, I wanted to become a doctor.
2012: I would graduate high school in the top 15% of my class, but feeling relatively unaccomplished as further degrading financial circumstances and my relatively lackluster record meant that going to a university was near impossible. I would soon fall into a sense of depression, seek counseling, and find out that I had either PDD/NOS or Asperger's Syndrome. Either way, I found out that I had a form of autism, explaining my tendency to embrace detachment from other individuals and ability to hyperfocus on certain interests. But due to my relative detachment from the rest of humanity and my distrust of others, partially due to my fear of revealing certain things about me (e.g. my sexual orientation) I was also diagnosed with an pesonality disorder - not otherwise specified with anxiety and depressed mood, which I was told was clearly a symptom of my autism as well.
2013: I began my studies at Houston Community College (expected graduation date of May 2015) where so far, I've earned all A's.
Emboldened by my diagnosis, as well as a process of embracement for who I am as an individual and my identity, I did my "coming out" as a gay man with autism on Facebook on July 6, 2013; one of the first of a series of "coming out" processes that I would do for the rest of my life (although I had come out to certain good friends who I met online since around 2011) but, indeed, it strikes me as the one most noteworthy in my life as I would finally tell this truth about myself to people I knew in-person, albeit online.
The Present: I am currently working more on myself, finding the good in life and focusing on how I can use my skills to help others and help myself (with work of course). We shall see how this story unfolds, I just hope I have happy endings and new beginnings!